


Tsukishima Kei has the worst boyfriends

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, I'm Sorry, M/M, Meme, tsukki really has the worst boyfs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7918102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima wakes up on an air mattress in the middle of a pond during training camp, and his boyfriends think it's hilarious. He does not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tsukishima Kei has the worst boyfriends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Superwhaaaaat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwhaaaaat/gifts).



> Please...just....watch this......
> 
> http://nonbinaryjedimaster.tumblr.com/post/149710168527/zzazu-islndquxxn-jenningham
> 
> (also follow my tumblr while you're there)

Kei wakes to laughter. Loud, mischievous laughter that belongs to more than two people, but he can very clearly hear his boyfriends a few meters away. He doesn’t think he wants to know what they’re planning. With a groan, he rolls over, and is surprised when his foot falls off of the air mattress – when had he been put on an air mattress? he was on a futon when he went to bed – he’d previously been sleeping peacefully on and his foot is enveloped in cold water. This causes the laughter to get louder, and Kei sits up. 

He regrets it immediately, and screams when he almost falls. 

As soon as Kei sits, he recognizes where he is, and he’s not happy; the middle of the pond behind Nekoma school. He sees his boyfriends – and most of the hooligans that like to pick on him at training camp – laughing on the edge of the pond, and Tadashi holds a camera in hands shaking with laughter. 

“What’re you doing out there, Tsukki?” Tadashi asks, voice loud and shaking with giggles. 

“You’re asking me?!” Kei yells, glaring at Tadashi and hoping he can see it. “And why are you recording?!” 

Tadashi just laughs, using Tetsurou as a crutch, as Kei floats farther away from the group of teenagers on the banks. He can see Tanaka and Noya rolling on the ground nearby, and most of the others are in a similar state. 

Tetsurou opens his mouth. “Get out of the pond, Kei!” 

“Shut up!” Kei yells. “I can’t!” 

He shifts in an angry huff, and yelps when he almost falls. Tetsurou absolutely howls. 

“I’m never letting either of you kiss me ever again!” 

Not even this shuts his boyfriends up, and so he decides to just sit there, arms crossed, angry. They’re dicks, anyway. 

Bokuto hoots at Kei, “Tsukishima! Come back to land!” 

“Shut up!” 

this peels laughter from the group on shore once again, and Kei’s makeshift raft bumps against something. An old, rickety canoe that’s been rotting there, in the middle of the gross pond Kei is currently floating in. 

“Climb– Climb on that, Tsukishima!” 

And Kei isn’t having any of that. It would obviously break under his weight, and he knows it. A form is already forming in his head anyway. “I don’t wanna die.” 

“You won’t die, Kei, just get on it–” 

But Kei doesn’t listen. Instead, carefully, he climbs onto all fours and shakes his body, effectively moving the air mattress in the direction of the shore, if only a little. A body in motion, as they say. 

Kei refuses to let his boyfriends win. 

“Kei! What’re you doing?!” 

“Shut up!” 

He continues to shake, and it works; he’s about halfway to the shore when his foot slips and he’s flipped backwards into the pond water with a yelp. When he reemerges from under the water, everyone is howling with laughter, and Kei is going to murder Tadashi and Tetsurou. 

Trudging through the water, Kei returns to shore, and makes straight for his boyfriends. Tadashi immediately stops recording and tosses his cellphone to Hinata, who shoves it down his pants. 

“You two.” 

The boys gulp. They’re in a bit of trouble.


End file.
